we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
