I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
