guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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