So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
