Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
