I want to have your abortion
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
