Yo dont text me then not text me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
