Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
