i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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