tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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