I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
