I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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