didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
