I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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