Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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