garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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