You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize