Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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