How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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