what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
