How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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