Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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