South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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