The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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