grandma shit on top of the toilet
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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