Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
