Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
