I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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