Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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