i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize