I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
