Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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