So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
