dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
