This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
