Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
