i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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