It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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