Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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