My room smells like vodka and shame
so let's talk penis.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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