I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
