If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
