so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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