It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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