singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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