thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
