You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
