dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize