We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
