my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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