Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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