sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
