he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
