I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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