I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
