You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
