i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
