In the future we'll all be gay
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
