The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
