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i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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