omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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