I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize