I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
