Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
