we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
